2007 coming to a close!

We are home safely from another relatively uneventful doctor’s appointment and wanted to share the latest with you. The most important news is that she continues to prove that she can indeed gain weight. She is now 5lb 10oz (a 7oz gain since her last appointment which was just over a week and a half ago). The doctor is happy that she is pretty much acting like he would expect a normal 2 month old to act, even if she doesn’t look like one. We have been encouraged by that too! Since the last appointment, she has started doing two things that help on a number of fronts: smiling and cooing. It is encouraging for us because it feels like it points to her ability to learn to do new things and is developmentally appropriate for this stage in her life. It also is quite endearing! While Jason hasn’t struggled much with bonding to this new little one, it continues to be a process for me. Many of the things that just came naturally for me with Kali – to talk to her, sing to her, read books, play, etc… have been something I’ve had to remind myself to do this time around. Having her begin to interact with me in new ways seems to draw some of those ways of relating out of me.

In terms of future appointments, her pediatrician is ready to put her on a “normal” schedule for appointments – basically not seeing her more regularly than he would see any other baby. The main thing that will make her have additional appointments in the next 3 months is for the monthly Synagis shot to protect her from contracting RSV. We are also requesting that we space out immunizations here at the beginning (at least) until her body is bigger, we are out of winter and we see how she tolerates them. We are grateful he is willing to work with us on this.

Our next appointment in Harrisonburg will not be until January 15^th. In the meantime we will head back to UVA for the first time for 2 appointments on January 8^th. While I don’t look forward to the trip, we are eager to take this opportunity to reconnect with Bill and Dottie, our Charlottesville family! We plan to head over the mountain on Monday whenever we can get ourselves together and it seems that Nora is tanked up enough on milk to make the trip. We’ll spend the evening and night with them and then have a full day on Tuesday – meeting with neurosurgery for a follow-up on her skull bone and then an appointment with the geneticist for the results for the micro-array analysis (DNA testing). We are hopeful that after that, we may not need to return to UVA until an April follow up appointment with neonatology.

So Nora is making strides and for that we are very grateful. And I think each of us are making some strides too on the home front. There are still days when it all feels like too much and the unknowns of the future feel overwhelming. But there are also days where it feels like there is some light ahead – when the diapers get washed, the dishes get done, Kali and I actually bake something together, Nora smiles or sleeps for a 3 hour block at night, Kali holds Nora and is a sweet, gentle big sister and I get of taste of something close to “normal.”

This holiday season has been one of shifting expectations and making new memories. When I focus on what I dreamed of months ago when I thought ahead to Christmas with a new baby it can feel hugely disappointing. But if I can take it for what is has been, we have been overwhelmed with gifts – tangible and intangible. Never have I come to the end of a year with a keener sense of being surrounded and supported by a huge web of people. That web has extended far beyond what we could have imagined initially when we embarked on our journey with Nora and it seems to be ever widening.

One of the things Jason and I both feel like we need most right now, is a chance for us to process together some of the changes our family is experiencing. And some time to read up on parenting an energetic, intelligent, intense, imaginative, creative, full-of-ideas 4-year-old! It seems that Nora’s arrival and the complexity of this time has collided with a new stage in Kali’s development that has been challenging for all of us to find our way through. It feels like it was just bad timing for her to go from having us all to herself to having to share us almost all of the time. It is also bad timing for both of her parents to be completely exhausted and a bit low on creativity. She has so many wonderful ideas, an imagination that I can only begin to get a taste of, and her energy never seems to run dry! At the same time, she seems keen on grasping control over as much of her life as possible and of making decisions about everything in her day, big and small. Like many things, we’ll probably get a handle on it just about the time she moves on to the next phase but in the meantime it has been stretching. I often feel like she is getting the worst of all of this and the one having the most taken from her.

As we look to the New Year, Jason and I are hoping to find some new rhythms that feel sustainable for us and that include things we each need to stay healthy. Jason and Kali will begin volunteering again once a week at Shenandoah Valley Community School. I will begin working on a regular schedule (2 days a week in the office in January and some at home on the off days). While it may be a bit optimistic, we hope to have a schedule that enables us both to have quality time with just Kali, time for us to get back into some kind of exercise routine (be that running or chopping firewood), finish up the front room and at some point in the not too distant future Jason and I sure would love time for more than a 30 second conversation with each other! We don’t intend to make all these strides in the first days of the New Year. We plan to mostly continue taking it a day at a time, but feel we will all benefit if our days can feel a bit more planned or predictable. We’ll see where things stand when it is time for the next update.

Well, I’m finding myself rewriting a lot of sentences, starting a paragraph and then erasing it and my eyes are getting heavy! Sleep has not been abundant! It’s about time for dinner and I think I’ll relieve Jason of the little bundle in his arms so he can edit this and we can get it out to all of you. I’m attaching a picture of our girls. Love, Janelle