Chicks

A portion of a longer letter written by Jason to family and closer friends: Today is a big day around here…the chicks have arrived! This morning at around 6:45 I got the call that the Penn Laird post office had our chicks, and I could retrieve them at my convenience. I found it convenient to be there by 7:08. I realized as I drove out our drive that I’d forgotten to brush my teeth.

Upon my returning home with the peeping box, Janelle and I decided to wake Kali so she could bond with the chicks for a few minutes before needing to head off to school. I sat on her bed with the box in hand, while Janelle woke her with a gentle “What’s that sound, Kali?” Kali’s first words of the day were “peep, peep,” spoken with eyes still closed, but through a broad smile...

As with so many aspects of my life since Nora entered it a little over a year and five months ago, feelings of excitement and promise come with other feelings mixed in. In this case, the “other feelings” are hard to describe, but what I’m thinking about when I feel them is that this brood of chicks signals a resumption of plans we’ve been working on since before Nora was even a twinkle in our eyes. When it became clear that Nora’s condition was stagnating right around this time last year, we made the decision to get rid of our last hens and rooster (we had already downsized) and focus on caring for her and the rest of us through that trying time. In addition to the sadness of Nora’s decline, we knew that there was no guarantee that the demands created by Nora’s particular needs would ever subside, and that the adjustments we would have to make to our dreams were possibly quite drastic. We were prepared to make those adjustments, however, if that was what it took to provide for her. Now I feel us, piece by piece, re-engaging with our former aspirations, and the place I find myself in with regard to that reality defies my descriptive abilities. How do I say four things at once? I want to reassure you that I’m incredibly grateful for our opportunity to explore a somewhat self-reliant lifestyle. Simultaneously I know grief: Nora is not here to share it with us...