Giving blood!

Jason and Kali are out trying to successfully get all the things on my grocery list for me. Since their list of errands has delayed their arrival home, I lit my candle in silence and sat in our hammock alone for awhile. What I'm feeling most this evening is gratefulness for the ways Nora's life and my journey of parenting her continues to provide me with strength.

For example, I gave blood today. Those that don't know me well may think this seems like a petty example. For those that grew up with me or know me well, it is huge! Nora's life proved to me time and time again that I can do things I never imagined I could do. And that there are many gifts to be found even in the pain of it. Giving blood is hardly painful, but I still manage to almost faint every time and I do not have a history of putting myself through that process voluntarily (I attempted it one time over a decade ago when I was a student). Each year when EMU has their annual blood drive, I have a twinge of guilt and wish I had traveled to some country that would nix me off the list of possible donors. In the past my tendency towards low iron levels would also offer me an easy escape. Today I cleared all hurdles with flying colors, with no excuse other than my fear (not of the needle as much as the embarrassment of passing out).

Nora was almost constantly on my mind. Thinking of her struggle for life and her determination to give it all that she had. The way caring for her consumed so much of what I had to offer. The way it wasn't enough. And yet all I can do is give what I can. Hopefully it will make a difference to someone, somewhere...