Monday, August 11, 2008

24 more tons...

Seeing a 12 ton heap of gravel on a newly fashioned parking space can really bring satisfaction. That is, unless it's the wrong kind of gravel. I might have caught the mistake as it was being dumped and prevented all 12 tons from ending up where it didn't belong if I hadn't been occupied with directing the rollback tow truck that had come to pick up our disabled car at exactly the same moment as the dump truck. Such is life...no biggie. Things are panning out fine, so far as we can tell, with both the car and the gravel. The car has some kind of information technology problem (something like a speed sensor leaving the computer high and dry regarding some particular essential information), and will probably be fixed tomorrow. The gravel heap will get used. Our neighbor Charles will be needing some for his own building project soon, so he might help us move it, and anybody who has visited us knows our driveway could use a little TLC in the gravel department. Frazier Quarry gave us 100 dollars off that load (almost half the price) and twenty off the next load, which came later in the morning and was the kind we actually needed, which was "Crusher Run."

This had mostly transpired before breakfast, so once Kali got up and we got breakfast, we set to work spreading and tamping crusher run, which is receptive to compaction, as the sub base for our front walk. Montessori camp (and other maturing experiences) must have helped her since we last worked together one-on-one: She was a joy to work with. She repeatedly mentioned how much she wished that there would be such a tool as a "kid's tamper." It must have looked like a lot more fun than it is! She accepted my explanation that a kid's tamper would result in many sore toes, but just couldn't help wishing. I think she had a good day. Two gravel piles--each with its own texture--to play in (picture bluish gray dust all over those little legs), meaningful work to participate in if she chose (and she often did choose to), lots of short wheelbarrow rides, and at the end of it all getting to drive her tricycle in countless effortless circles on the newly created flat place which is the patio section of the front walk.

And still, at the end of the day she mournfully expressed her desire to me for me to work away from home so she could have days alone with Mommy. She seems to do this with no malice, but simply expressing a preference. We are puzzled but not especially alarmed about this seemingly innocent playing of favorites. For some reason favorites seem to be exceedingly important to her recently, and we feel as if when possible we need to respect her development and/or grieving process.

I look forward to many more work days with Kali this fall, since Kali will be attending Shenandoah Valley Community School, a democratic free school near Harrisonburg, (http://www.svcs.us/) two days/week, and we will be volunteering there together one half day/week. Doing the math, that leaves us one day/week that Kali and I are home together all day, plus one half day/week which we will probably spend on errands, since we'll have the car in town anyway. Each of our weekends will ordinarily be three days long, since Janelle will be working four days/week. Much of our weekend time will probably be spent working as a family, sometimes on one project all together and sometimes with one of us indoors and the other out, etc. This is a hugely pleasant way to spend the scant hours of our lives...we are so grateful to the choices we've made and good fortune we've run across that permits this way of life. Many of our friends and acquaintances are stunned and then pretty jealous when they learn of our work schedule, and with good reason. If there were a way we could help others who might desire this kind of lifestyle to be able to adopt it, I would very much want to. But it is not an unqualified recommendation: you may have to do without some of the pleasures to which you may have become accustomed in order for it to work. Also, debt load is of extreme significance. Still, our experience suggests that if it works, it really works.

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